The time is now.

And so, the end of another year approaches. So much has happened this year, and now it is all over. What once was the talk of months of preparation, is now history. So many raging emotions of joy and sadness; of confusion and clarity. Therefore, I found it suiting to start up a blog to keep track of this; of future endeavors, emotions, and perspectives.  

I'm trying to find my place in all of this. I'm trying to make meaning of things that... I feel should have meaning, or more of it. An apathy has overtaken me; it overwhelms me. To care, to love, to trust...  is to have passion, to be vulnerable, and to let go of oneself. It is a hard thing to do. I find myself chasing perspective, always trying to see things in a light that is positive and uplifting for others as well as myself... I don't really know if this is the way to go; sometimes I feel like this is the right thing to do. Other times, it's as if the only reality I see is negativity. How does one make something positive that which feels so hostile and hopeless?

This year, I do have a few noble plans. But are they mine? Am I just following some guideline, some book of rules for life? This is my life. Am I who I want to be? Who do I want to be? I feel as if a clock is ticking, and my time is running out. Do I give up? Do I start over? Or do I try and live a somewhat normal and common life?

I know what I need to do. The time is now. The choice is mine.

I like the number seven better than six anyway.